Just Some Reflections

I just lit the Shabbat candles, 

I’ve already burned two desks at home when the candle holder of one of them collapsed and the other fell.

Strange how fire has been such a significant factor in my life.

Sometimes I feel almost overwhelmed at the beauty and majesty of this world, and amazement of being with some of the women I have loved, and some that I have been in love with.

There were times when being with a new woman was a physical need, and little more than that.

There was one great love, she knows who she is, that I betrayed, she knows how and so do I.

We don’t talk about it.

She is too kind and circumspect to share it with the world, although I don’t have a problem with her telling our children why she tossed me.

I was ashamed of it at the time.

I’m not any longer.

I am not proud or happy about it, but my judgement was seriously impaired then.

For a couple of years in the 80’s I became addicted to prescription medications.

 And  I engaged in some pretty sordid indiscretions.

It didn’t represent me, it was me under the influence of meds, but…

I loved her then.

I still love her, but the reality is it is in the irrevocable past.

On the other hand, every one I loved betrayed me as well.

I forgive them, even though some will never do the same for me.

I am still very healthy and strong and passionate.

I have some financial difficulties, but I expect to surmount them, find someone to care for, and maybe find true love, if there is such a thing.

I didn’t mean to rant, sorry.

Some good articles are coming up, I hope you return.